I’ve a reputation for the forgotten, forgettable, off-brand, off-axis video games of our youth. I name them: Cousin Video games.
One of the best ways to get within the Cousin Sport mindset is to think about being dropped off in a home that smells completely different from the way you assume a home is meant to scent and also you go right into a room with a man who’s like a bizarre model of you, and he’s taking part in Nintendo — which you perceive — however whenever you take a look at the display, it’s like… What’s that?… What the hell is that?
A Cousin Sport is a recreation you don’t personal, and don’t essentially wish to personal. However “Cousin Sport” just isn’t a euphemism for “dangerous recreation.” There are many dangerous video games that aren’t cousin video games.
Right here’s a fast listing of Cousin Video games:
Cousin Video games aren’t “normie” video games. Madden just isn’t a Cousin Sport. It’s only a recreation your cousin performs. That is true for many sports activities video games, however not all the time true in excessive sports activities and motorsport.
Tony Hawk’s Professional Skater just isn’t a Cousin Sport, however Tony Hawk’s Underground 2 is. AirBlade is a Cousin Sport.
A recreation with Spider-Man in it has a 75 p.c probability of being a Cousin Sport. Eighty p.c for Wolverine. Ninety p.c for Taz.
Basically, licensed tie-in video games have the next probability of being Cousin Video games.
First and third-party mascot video games are hardly ever Cousin Video games, however there are a lot of exceptions within the Sonic franchise. First-party Nintendo video games are by no means Cousin Video games. Apart from Geist, which is certainly a Cousin Sport.
PC video games might be Cousin Video games, however are much more prone to be Uncle Video games, which we don’t have time to get into.
The Cousin Sport is outlined by a thriller. How did this recreation come to be on this wrong-smelling home? Was it a present from a mum or dad, plucked arbitrarily from a Babbage’s shelf? Or did your cousin imagine in BattleTanx 2? Do they nonetheless consider it fondly at present? Is it as candy and acquainted of their reminiscence as it’s unusual in yours?
And when you see any of the video games talked about right here and mentioned, “that’s not a Cousin Sport,” you’ll have to contemplate the troubling chance that you are the cousin. Assist is on the market.